Return to the essay table of contents
30. KISS THE (BASEBALL) FROG (May 2003)
I need a break from
women, terrorism, war and women. How about another quick essay on the subject
that really matters - baseball? I will be brief, and speak in numbers, since the
real purpose of the baseball season is to create eternal stats.
1st, 2 pitchers, their
pathetic rookie years:
Pitcher #1: 2-4
5.52 ERA (6-14 his 2ed year). Hopeless.
Pitcher #2: 2-4
5.54 ERA (7-17 his 2ed year). #1's twin! (And they actually played
on the same team.)
And this one's 2ed year,
after a "cup of coffee" as a rookie:
Pitcher #3: 0-4
6.67 ERA. 26 walks in 29 2/3 innings!
So much for those 3,
whatever their hopes for a good career.
And now for 2 clueless
rookie hitters, apparently swinging bats made of straw, since in 37 combined
games they failed to produce a single extra-base hit between them!
Hitter #1: 0
2 .204
Hitter #2: 0
4 .170
The above players are
recent. But rookie mediocrity, or worse, is part of baseball's inevitable
panorama:
Hitter #3: 0
4 .246 in 18 games. Plenty of nothing.
Hitter #4: 1
15 .240 in 41 games. Just another body.
We end with the 1st 2
seasons of a not very good pitcher:
Pitcher #4:
2-2 3.02
2-4 4.91
Not much there. (36 wins,
40 losses in his 1st 6 seasons)
Their names? Pitchers:
1 - Greg Maddux
2 - Tom Glavine
3 - Randy Johnson
4 - Sandy Koufax
Oh, and the hitters:
1 - Alex Rodriguez
2 - Larry Walker
3 - Rogers Hornsby
4 - Ty Cobb
The moral of the story?
If the war in Iraq seems to be going poorly, give it time. Work at your
marriage! Be patient with your children. To every boss in America: Give that new
kid down the hall a chance. Kiss the frog.
Return to the essay table of contents